I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
