Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
