swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Panties = found
Randomize
