At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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