Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
