so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
