i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
