she looked like the before picture.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
