What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
