Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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