I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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