just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
