It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
