Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize