my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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