I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
