Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
