We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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