I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
