so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize