I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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