Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize