Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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