In America we eat man semen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
