Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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