So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
