yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
