I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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