What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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