He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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