what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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