Having a random hookup so left but love u
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
