Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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