was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
