2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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