the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
