I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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