I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
