just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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