A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need to sanitize my soul.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
