Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
do nipples grow back?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
