glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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