does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
