nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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