none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
