You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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