Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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