Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
