Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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