How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
