i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
