Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
