You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
