I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
