i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He shit in the fireplace
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
