I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
