I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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