if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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